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Rush Fanfiction: What I Want to Hear

September 26th, 2010 (09:29 pm)

Title: What I Want to Hear
Author: Ygrawn
Fandom: Rush
Pairing/Characters: Michael/Stella
Rating: R
Word Count: 700~
Spoilers: Spoilers for Episode 3.10, which aired last Thursday.
Author’s Notes: Written in, oh, about seven minutes.
Summary: Michael tells her things she doesn’t want to hear.

What I Want to Hear


Michael tells her things she doesn’t want to hear. He tells her he loves her, he tells her she’s beautiful, he tells that when he’s inside her, everything is perfect. He tells her these things with soft, liquid eyes, with affection in his words, his voice gentle, sweet.

Michael is a fool. That he’s in tactical response is hilarious, when he doesn’t even know how to protect himself.

“Why do you always tells me things I don’t want to know?” she asks one morning. She’s straddling him at her kitchen table, taking bites out of his toast, grinding down on his hardening cock.

“Stel…” he pulls at the toast, tries to keep her still with one hand on her waist. He laughs, flushes red. “Stop it.”

She reaches for his hand, slides it up to her breast. “Why do you always tell me things I don’t want to hear? I don’t do it to you.”

“Every time you say no you do it to me,” Michael says.

“I’ve never said no,” she grins, wriggling, pressing his hand harder against her breast. “Fuck me.”

“I don’t want to hear that,” Michael says, so serious, so self-righteous.

She swallows the last piece of toast and kisses him. He’s salty from the Vegemite. “Yeah you do.” She releases his cock and slides down onto it.

“You’re a bitch.”

She’d agree, but she’s busy and when Michael bucks up into her and bites the side of her neck, she laughs instead.


Michael, when he has his way, is slow, leisurely. He calls it making love in his painfully earnest way. Stella lets him have his way and tells herself that’s all it is: that’s she’s indulging him, not herself.


He probably tells himself the same thing when she ties him up, that he’s indulging her whim, her need for power, not his need for submission. His body tells an entirely different story, pleasure erupting and exploding in him fast enough to almost be embarrassing.


Stella bleeds for hours after she goes home. The doctors told her she would. She could do without the remainder. She curls up on the couch and watches TV without absorbing anything.

It’s nearly nine o’clock when Michael calls. “Hey, I’m downstairs. Let me in.”

She could tell him to go away and he would, because Michael does what she tells him. But all damn afternoon she’s been telling herself she doesn’t want him, and now that he’s standing on the other side the door she knows she’s wanted him all along.

“Hang on.”

She hangs up and unwraps herself from the hideous green throw her cousin gave her for Christmas.

Michael's leaning against the doorjamb, concern colouring his eyes dark. “You look like shit.”

“Damn it,” Stella says, because she’s suddenly crying.

He's immediately contrite, almost panicked. “Hey, I didn’t mean it.” He pulls her into him, cradles her head in his palm. He smells of beer and the lavender-scented washing power his mother uses. “Stel?”

“Shut up.”

Michael half-carries her to the couch and holds onto her. To his credit, he doesn’t say another word. Until she stops crying, anyway.

“Stella?” He’s cautious. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She begins to pull away but he tightens his grip. “Let go.”

“No. What did the doctor say?”

“I’m fine.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“Why do you have to know everything?”

“Why do you have to hide everything?”

But he lies down and pulls her with him, tucking her head under his chin. “Okay,” he says.


Stella dozes, slipping in and out of sleep. She starts to shiver, cold, and Michael pulls the throw across them, shifting her slightly across his body.


“Sorry,” he whispers. He kisses her forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

“Tell me." Her words are half-buried in his chest. “Tell me.”

“I love you,” he says, so sure, so fucking honest. “I love you.”


It’s weeks before she tells him about the miscarriage and only then because she wants to hurt him. Instead of being angry his immediate response is to worry about her, which is worse than anger, worse than anything else.

And when he comes to her that night, she tells him she doesn’t love him and never will.

Michael stares at her until he says, “You’re the worst liar, Stella.”

He’s right.




Posted by: jillianfish (jillianfish)
Posted at: September 26th, 2010 02:48 pm (UTC)

I have no idea what this fandom is about but does this mean you're back writing and posting? I've missed you and your lovely stories.

Posted by: ygrawn (ygrawn)
Posted at: September 27th, 2010 09:58 am (UTC)

Uh, the answer is - sort of. I definitely wanted to write this, but I'm not sure if it means I'll be posting again regularly. Fingers crossed! And thank you!

Posted by: kimmeke_86 (kimmeke_86)
Posted at: September 26th, 2010 05:17 pm (UTC)

Absolutely no idea about the fandom. Very interesting piece, greatly written!

Posted by: ygrawn (ygrawn)
Posted at: September 27th, 2010 09:57 am (UTC)

Thanks - high praise indeed given you don't know the fandom!

Posted by: smiley_b (smiley_b)
Posted at: September 27th, 2010 06:54 am (UTC)

Awesome fic - I'm sitting here flailing at the moment because it is so completely THEM!!

Brilliant job :-)

Posted by: ygrawn (ygrawn)
Posted at: September 27th, 2010 09:58 am (UTC)

Aw, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Posted by: anr (anr)
Posted at: September 30th, 2010 01:43 pm (UTC)

omg, rush fanfic!! *hearts*

Loved this. Your characterisations of Stella and Michael rang particularly true.

Posted by: ygrawn (ygrawn)
Posted at: October 9th, 2010 06:50 am (UTC)

Thank you! *hearts back*

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